Bad Kids vs Bad Parents

I know this lady. Let's call her Ms M. Ms M has what you would label a problem child. This is a child who acts out both at home and at school, talking disrespectfully to his parents, grandparents, teachers etc, breaking things (his own and other people's) and generally just being a menace to society. 

But. And it's a big but. I don't think that the child is the problem here. 

Instead, it seems blindingly obvious to me that the parents are to blame. Ms M has a big problem with responsibility. As in, she takes none. Whenever she is confronted with her mistakes she will try and shift the blame to some other supposedly responsible party. As for the things she is supposed to be in charge of - well let's just say whenever anyone asks her about it, she throws her hands in the air. Most of the time she couldn't be bothered to learn how things work in order to complete her tasks. It's just easier to claim "I don't know" you see.

That I can still handle though. What I can't handle is that she takes this very same attitude with her kid. But don't take my word for it, let's look at some shining examples of her parenting style: (bear in mind this is a preschooler)
  • Child allowed to stay up into the wee hours of the morning
  • Child allowed to watch pretty much anything on tv. Parents usually watch with him, but no guidance is offered from their side. As Ms M so eloquently put it, she's glad that such a wide variety of topics (violence, sex, drugs etc) are dealt with on tv, so that she doesn't have to explain them to her kid. 
  •  After repeated incidents at the school, the teacher requests that the child no longer brings a certain toy to school. Miss M completely (and very vocally) disregards this and brilliantly models respect for an authority figure.
  • At a school open day, several parents approach Miss M to complain about her child's swearing. Miss M claims to not know where child gets it from, but regularly swears like a banshee at work. No doubt it is even worse at home. Classy.
  • When teacher approaches Miss M about her child's bad behaviour, Miss M vows to "get that bitch back". And insists that the teacher is at fault for not being able to control the kid at school. Apparently the teacher is too soft, yet in the same breath she complains that the kid constantly gets yelled at by his teacher.
The best part? In spite of all these reports regarding her child and visits to a child psychologist, Miss M vehemently denies that she or her husband has anything to do with the kid's behaviour. In fact, she got mightily upset with the psychologist when she was told that it wasn't the psychologist's job to teach her child values. 

I feel sorry for that kid. I really do. Unfortunately, growing up society will only see the bad behaviour and won't look past him to the actual guilty party, the parents. Yes, Miss M, I place the blame squarely at your doorstep and unfortunately throwing your hands in the air won't solve this problem.


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