Dodgy Omies & Bondage Boys

Last night we indulged in two activities that were polar opposites of each other.

First we went dancing with my best friend (Michelin Man) and her new victim, er... boyfriend, at Klipwerf - a rather interesting cultural phenomenon where couples get the opportunity to dance to music ranging from traditional boeremusiek, current Afrikaans "treffers", golden oldies and English chart-toppers. Always interesting, especially when you look at the various personality types you encounter at such a place.

First you have the Dodgy Old "Omie" - in his 50's, nice and mellow after his 7th Klippies & Cola, and fancying himself to be the stud of the town, able to score with girls half his age.

Next you have the Standard Slutty Girl - usually dressed in as little as possible, usually NOT with the body to match and doing choreographed pole dancing without the pole.

Third in our line up is the Hot Old Couple - they are usually in their 40's and keen to show off how passionate they can still be about each other. Their way of demonstrating this fact to the room is by some rather embarassing dirty-dancing style grinding.

Fourthly is the Kugel Poppie. Dressed in matching belt, high (usually platform) heels , designer (but badly fitting) jeans, and litlle sparkly top. Difficult to discern any facial expression through her thickly plastered make-up.

And last, but certainly not the least, the Rugby Buffoon. You will recognize him by the rugby jersey that he is proudly wearing and the determined, but stupid, expression on his face.

We spent the first half of our evening at Klipwerf, getting to know Michelin Man's new Michelin's Man. Just before midnight The Fiance received an sms from GreenDemon, saying that him and Just-ify! are now in Denim&Diamonds (a nightclub in Stellenbosch), in bondage gear. Recognizing that this was an opportunity not to be missed, we excused ourselves and headed back to Stellenbosch.

Upon arriving at D&D we immediately spotted GreenDemon & Just-ify! - in crowded places it's always handy to have above-average height friends. There they were - with chains clipped to a band around their necks, and attached to this, pink fluffy handcuffs. Interesting... Of course, GreenDemon proceeded to hook The Fiance with one of his cuffs, quite soon after our arrival. I knew hereenD
couldn't resist for too long... ;-) I soon found myself in the rather bizarre position of playing photographer to The Fiance and GreenDemon, playing it up for the camera with the bondage gear. Less secure girls would've been worried... Just-ify later joined in by spanking The Fiance with one of his chains. None of these antics however seemed to attract any attention whatsoever from the patrons - although I suppose that, in a nightclub, after midnight, nothing really raises eyebrows. Also met The Pony, Justi-fy!'s latest flame, and seems like a nice enough girl, although she was quick to assure me that she is not normally in schoolgirl attire. I just smiled... The evening was cut short however by the 21st celebrations of The Pony's friend which got the better of said friend. Let's just say he was on the wrong side of sober.

So an evening of extremes came to an end and we happily toddled off to bed.

2 comments:

greendemon said...

_cough_

There are some points in your post I take issue with, to wit:

1) Those were RED fluffy cuffs. Not pink. Red. Do I look gay? No, don't answer that.

2) The cuffs were very well received by a number of the female patrons on the dance floor. Oh, yes. Yes, yesyesyes.

The Woman said...

yesssssssssssss pwincess...

having issues with your gender identity...? ;-)

Just joking. I'm well aware of how well they were received by the female patrons...

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